Why I Write
Original Post Date : August 17, 2005
Why I write..
When - Whenever I have free time at work. My work is weird, if I’m busy, I can bulge my eyes out staring at the monitor and never let go until I finish it. Radio and conversations around are enemies, I have to plug some earphone and listen to well, combination of Nirvana’s scream, Josh Groban’s steady voice and even Nat King Cole and those waving flipping around blues or even ew Sarah Brightman and Eminem, anything suits my mood. I do have wide range of taste. :)
But if I’m not busy, I can listen and understand every conversation around while following the tune of the radio, reading emails and digging my nose. Eps, that one is at home (or when I think nobody can see me).
Lately, my workloads are getting imbalance. Like now, I have free time almost every few day, lasting for few days also. Playing games, listening to music are not enough to pass time anymore. I’m not really a social person; I won’t go around bugging people and talking about things even if they want to have some company. I used to do that in my first office, but moving here, I don’t really know how to joke around. In Indonesia, I can say whatever comes to my mind and gain immediate effect, but here, if I want to say something funny, I have to think first, and it’s not that funny anymore. And Sgp doesn’t have many slang languages, (like those prokem :) unless we speak in Singlish. Now I’m quite good at that (I even forget how to speak properly!) but my neck hair is still standing when I speak or hear it, so nawww, there burst the option.
But I also not the kind of person who can sit and do nothing, it will kill me. I’m amazed of how a person can sit and think about nothing (most of them are males, I swear, I conclude this from actual surveys and confessions. Nothing sexist ;p). Since before kindergarten, I have a looong story in my mind that continues to go on until now. Whenever I’m free, I would continue, in my mind. I even can’t sleep without that.
So, arghh, why it took me so long just to say this; I love to write. Bear with me. I speak better with my keyboard.
And I plan to write down memorable things in my life, I’m just starting. (Evil grin).
I joined an online writing community last year, from there, I gain friends, I read, I write, I critize and being critized. It was fun; I couldn’t spend a day without logging into it. We were quite close to each other, we even have a special website with our real pictures all over it. When I was absent after being quite desperate during tsunami period; they were asking and care for me, I was really touched.
But few months ago, I stopped logging in, although I still check from time to time. Because there were a lot of new people came trying to create some chaos, post junks etc,. The other/main reason is I miss my online close friends, some of them have stopped visiting and I don’t know what had happened to them. Reality struck. We don’t really know each other. If I die or they die, we wouldn’t know. The sad thing was some of the friends were in their constant battle with cancer or something harder to cope in life. I guess I might take things too hard, but some of them were going through lives unimaginable for me. Those stay in UK and US, majority of the community, went through homeless situations, drugs, rapes, from serious things until small things like school bullies for younger members. From contacts with them, I understand how hard life must be for them, and it was like being pushed into my face, that those things are not only happen in TV. So, I take time out to clear my mind, I will log back in when I’m ready.
Why I write..
When - Whenever I have free time at work. My work is weird, if I’m busy, I can bulge my eyes out staring at the monitor and never let go until I finish it. Radio and conversations around are enemies, I have to plug some earphone and listen to well, combination of Nirvana’s scream, Josh Groban’s steady voice and even Nat King Cole and those waving flipping around blues or even ew Sarah Brightman and Eminem, anything suits my mood. I do have wide range of taste. :)
But if I’m not busy, I can listen and understand every conversation around while following the tune of the radio, reading emails and digging my nose. Eps, that one is at home (or when I think nobody can see me).
Lately, my workloads are getting imbalance. Like now, I have free time almost every few day, lasting for few days also. Playing games, listening to music are not enough to pass time anymore. I’m not really a social person; I won’t go around bugging people and talking about things even if they want to have some company. I used to do that in my first office, but moving here, I don’t really know how to joke around. In Indonesia, I can say whatever comes to my mind and gain immediate effect, but here, if I want to say something funny, I have to think first, and it’s not that funny anymore. And Sgp doesn’t have many slang languages, (like those prokem :) unless we speak in Singlish. Now I’m quite good at that (I even forget how to speak properly!) but my neck hair is still standing when I speak or hear it, so nawww, there burst the option.
But I also not the kind of person who can sit and do nothing, it will kill me. I’m amazed of how a person can sit and think about nothing (most of them are males, I swear, I conclude this from actual surveys and confessions. Nothing sexist ;p). Since before kindergarten, I have a looong story in my mind that continues to go on until now. Whenever I’m free, I would continue, in my mind. I even can’t sleep without that.
So, arghh, why it took me so long just to say this; I love to write. Bear with me. I speak better with my keyboard.
And I plan to write down memorable things in my life, I’m just starting. (Evil grin).
I joined an online writing community last year, from there, I gain friends, I read, I write, I critize and being critized. It was fun; I couldn’t spend a day without logging into it. We were quite close to each other, we even have a special website with our real pictures all over it. When I was absent after being quite desperate during tsunami period; they were asking and care for me, I was really touched.
But few months ago, I stopped logging in, although I still check from time to time. Because there were a lot of new people came trying to create some chaos, post junks etc,. The other/main reason is I miss my online close friends, some of them have stopped visiting and I don’t know what had happened to them. Reality struck. We don’t really know each other. If I die or they die, we wouldn’t know. The sad thing was some of the friends were in their constant battle with cancer or something harder to cope in life. I guess I might take things too hard, but some of them were going through lives unimaginable for me. Those stay in UK and US, majority of the community, went through homeless situations, drugs, rapes, from serious things until small things like school bullies for younger members. From contacts with them, I understand how hard life must be for them, and it was like being pushed into my face, that those things are not only happen in TV. So, I take time out to clear my mind, I will log back in when I’m ready.
posted by aping | 11:58 PM
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